


Tricycle

by Metronomeblue



Category: Boardwalk Empire
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Am I the first person to put Benny/Pearl bc damn AUs are making new ships every day, Benny Cannot Open His Mouth, Benny Needs to Use His Words, Benny is a Perpetual Third Wheel, Bisexual Benny Siegel, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, F/M, Gen, Luciano Has Too Many Damn Names, M/M, Meyer is Not Happy, Multi, Pearl Lives, Period-Typical Homophobia, Team New York runs their operation out of a nightclub, They are children istg, This is basically pining, Universe Alteration, as she should, because I'm classy like that, but I'm enjoying it, it's vague, just run with it, kind of???, prohibition is still a thing but it's not a defined time period, this is for plot reasons, which i dont know why bc it's not really "period" but, with some jealousy and complicated feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-25
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-10 21:41:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7862197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metronomeblue/pseuds/Metronomeblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benny watches them. He sees Luciano's eyes follow Meyer around the room, ceaselessly and with a hunger Benny didn't know other people could feel. He watches Meyer's hands drift almost gently to trace the edge of Charlie's sleeve, the seam along his shoulder. Benny watches them hold each other back, watches them as they demonstrate their friendship, their devotion to each other in a thousand ways. Benny watches, and burns and wants. He feels small, he feels alone, he feels unwanted.</p><p>Benny feels like the spare, the extra, the superfluous, useless member of the trio. It was only ever meant to be a duo, anyway. Everyone knows that, and Benny perhaps best of all.</p><p>After all, Benny watches. Benny sees.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tricycle

**Author's Note:**

> This is the long-winded Benny pining fic I've been talking about recently.

So the whole thing starts because Benny can’t keep his fucking mouth shut. It’s too early in the morning for anyone to be properly awake, and Meyer’s sitting at the kitchen table with his top button open and his collar rumpled a little, looking like he was just hit with a train, and through a gap Benny can just see a flash of purple and red. So, being Benny, he takes another sip of his own mug of coffee.

“That a hickey?” He asks tactlessly, because there’s no other way to ask that question. Meyer looks up at him, a kind of quiet, ice-cold rage in his eyes, and Benny hunches down to finish his mug before Meyer throws him out the window or something. But then in comes Charlie, dark hair ruffled and tie unknotted, a grin on his face so wide he looks like he just ate every goddamn canary in the world. He just swoops in, like he has no cares in the world, and plants a joyful kiss on Meyer’s temple before gliding over to the coffeemaker to grab a mug of his own.

It shouldn’t mean anything to Benny, for so many reasons. It shouldn’t mean anything to him because he _knew_ , even before this, before anything, he knew. Meyer with his _fierce_ , even defenses of Charlie, Charlie with his blazing, undying pride whenever Meyer secured a deal, won a game, triumphed over someone or something.  It shouldn’t bother him because he should be glad that there are other people like him out there, that he’s not the only one to see the way the light hits Charlie’s hair and want to _bury his hands in it bite at his lip pull at his collar_ , that he’s not the only one to see Meyer’s small, wry smile and want to _kiss it from his mouth wrap a hand around his wrist trace his neck with his tongue_. 

It shouldn’t bother him because he shouldn’t be in love with either of them, let alone _both_.

But he is, and it does, and he can’t keep his goddamn mouth shut, so he asks Meyer stupid question just so that he’ll look at Benny, does stupid shit for Charlie because at least then he’s the _reliable kid_ , the one Charlie goes to for something he can’t get from anyone else, even if that something is a marked disregard for the sanctity of human life. He knows neither of them really cares about him- not the way he cares for them. He knows he should stop doing this, but he can’t. _He can’t_.

Because Benny watches them. He sees Luciano's eyes follow Meyer around the room, ceaselessly and with a hunger Benny didn't know other people could feel. He sees Charlie press reverent kisses to Meyer’s temples when he gets a headache, watches him watch Meyer in all things with a glow of pride and faith that Benny aches to feel on his own back. He watches Meyer's hands drift almost gently to trace the edge of Charlie's sleeve, the seam along his shoulder. He watches Meyer trace the lines on Charlie’s hands sometimes, when he forgets Benny is there in the corner and Charlie’s passed out on the couch. He watches Meyer kill a man for calling Charlie _a pretty girl he wouldn’t mind a piece of_. Benny watches them hold each other back, lift each other up, watches them as they demonstrate their friendship, their devotion to each other in a thousand ways. Benny watches, and burns and _wants_. He feels small, he feels alone, he feels unwanted.

He always does, he thinks, putting his mug in the sink as Meyer and Charlie’s good-natured arguing washes over him like a wave of distance. _Look_ , it seems to say, _look and listen to the beautiful things you’ll never have_. It hurts even more, and Benny feels like the spare, the extra, the superfluous, useless member of the trio. They were only ever meant to be a duo, anyway. Everyone knows that, and Benny perhaps best of all. They let Benny see these things, let him in on the most sacred, beloved parts of their lives- each other- because they know he’s like them. In all the ways that matter- his hunger, his ambition, his willingness, his stubbornness, his preferences, his _love for them_ \- he is like them. They let him in because they trust him, if only as an assistant, an employee, a friend, maybe.

After all, Benny watches. Benny sees.

  
Mostly, he sees _them_.

**Author's Note:**

> I know how you feel, Benny. I know. This is going to be pretty long, I think, and I've got some vague suggestions of plot to straighten out, but I'm enjoying the ride so far. Some stories are like pulling teeth, but this one just kinda flowed.
> 
> And yes, in case you were wondering, Charlie did screw Meyer into next week immediately preceding the chapter.


End file.
